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26.9.08

on my mind

...This week have been hard just for various reasons...but this is whats on my mind....



...Lately I have been thinking about a mission…but then I think about St. Lucia…


Leaving St. Lucia was what seems to have been one of the more emotionally difficult things I have gone through. It was as hard as sending my brother off on a mission, moving from Washington to Michigan and even as hard as leaving for college the first time. I felt a loss and to this day, my heart still hurts. The one common factor these few events have is that I lost something, and I think that is what aches my heart.
…so how this ties into a mission? I feel an emptiness when I think about St. Lucia. I mean, I was only there for four months…I can’t imagine being somewhere for a year in a half and having to leave it. Its more of a selfish reason to not want to go. I don’t know, I guess it just scares me.
I guess I wish they all only knew what I wanted for them. All I want for them is to have, what I have and what I know. I want them to be happy. I want them to know of the potential they all have. I want them to see the difference the gospel can make in their lives. All I want is for them to realize who they are and what they can become.
I don’t know when I will have an experience like this again. The love I have for St. Lucia is something I have never felt before. In just the few short months I was there, I developed a love for them as if they were my own family. I know I am never going to experience anything like what I did. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I am forever grateful for the things I learned while I was there.

5 comments:

Shay & Ty said...

You are so cute, i love you and i miss you!!!!

cathy said...

Kelsey~ That was beautiful. You have such a giving heart and I am so proud of you for loving others. I know that if a mission is the right thing for you that you will be able make it work and have more experiences like you did in St. Lucia. The Lord is mindful of your desires. I love the picture of your heart & St. Lucia

Kellie said...

aww kelsey! that was a cute kinda sad post! well...you should go on a mission girl! i can totally see you preachin the gospel anywhere and you would come to love the place and the ppl just as much as st. lucia.
but im sure you would miss it just the same as well....keep thinkin bout it :)

Das Wenigste Blog der Welt said...

Kelsey... you are such a wonderful person! Heavenly Father knows what is best for you and He will guide you to the right decision. Either way, you already are an excellent missionary, whether you serve a formal mission or not!

Stephanie Johnson said...

SISTER SMITH!!
YOu would be a great missionary, I could totally see you out there serving and sharing the gospel. You will do great kels!! But listen, just pray I won't meet any boys like I don't see it being a problem, but you know. LOFS

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